there's more to life than this

First I was bizzy with trying to take time off, now I am dealing with the work-bizzy that results from taking time off -- however, I got a really nice compliment from a "colleague" today who said that if she ever moves on she's going to recommend me for her job. I can't imagine doing what I do anywhere else, but you know, she didn't need to say anything nearly that nice to me and she did, and it was nice.

Speaking of nice, things have not been so nice for me lately. Once upon a time here in diaryland I complained about people being negative -- something about just stopping all the doom and gloom and acknowledging that kitties are cute. I am now trying to practice what I preach. I am also aware that things could be much much worse than they are -- today I spoke with one of my staff people who is in the hospital recovering from surgery. Recently she was in a car accident and broke her foot, totaled her car. Then she got sick and was admitted to the hospital for appendicitis. While they were operating and removing her appendix they discovered out that she has another, different and potentially serious condition, but she has yet to see her doctor to talk about it. She is only 28 and I can't imagine what she is going through. In that context my problems seem trivial and self-inflicted.

I think maybe one of the things I dislike the most about going through rough spots in life is that I want these things to happen in a vacuum, where I don't affect the people around me adversely. I know that this is not possible, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it. I am human, I am sometimes immature that way -- and I also just want the folks around me to be happy, even when I'm being a jerk. Blah. Recently I read this article by a woman who goes on a silent retreat every year -- first she went alone, now her husband and daughters go with her. She just doesn't talk for a week, and is renewed/restored after the experience. I don't know if I could do it, but it would probably be good for me. Maybe I would stop saying things that I don't mean.